Acne – Update 11.26.2017

This week I have been much more adherent to my facial regimen. This week, I had one day where I was in make-up for a extended amount of time.  Below are week 2 results. I am starting to see some clearing on my checks. I had two new pimples on my forehead but they are starting to clear.

Week 2

Week 1

Day 1

Week 3 I plan to increase my water intake and I will add  Supa Mega Greens  as a supplement to my regimen.

Click here to see the post about the current products I am using Adult hormonal cystic Acne – Week 1

See you all next week and thanks for stopping by.

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Adult hormonal cystic Acne – Week 1

I did not expect to see much change in week one because I was unable to take the oral ( doxycycline Hyclate Capapsules) for 3 days. There was also a delay in receiving my prescriptions through the mail. I also slept in makeup one night and one night I did not wash my face and do the routine at all. I have now  received my medications through the mail, and in a few days I am no longer taking the Microgestin. I will be switching to Kelnor. So the next update will include a weeks worth of doing the whole routine and switching to Kelnor.

Day 1

Week 1

Modified Regimen

Face Wash

  Cetaphil Gentle Cleansing Bar – AM & PM

Topical Creams

Aczone Gel- Morning

Epiduo Forte – Night

Oral Medications

Kelnor ( ethinyl estradiol and ethynodiol diacetate)  – AM

doxycycline hyclate 100 –  1x a day PM

 

Thanks for reading and I hope to have some really good results on my next post.

 

 

Adult hormonal cystic acne

Sometimes I forget that I started this lovely blog space to discuss the highs and lows of acne. At age 36, I am now experiencing adult hormonal cystic acne. So I finally made the appointment and went to my dermatologist ( after hoping it would clear on its own). My acne is primarily concentrated along the jaw line and it is what I call ” the variety acne package”  – black heads, white heads, and painful cystic acne.

The meds

Aczone Gel- Morning

Epiduo Forte – Night

doxycycline hyclate 100 –  once a day at night

I am also taking Microgestin ( which I believe is the cause of the hormonal acne, more to come on this later)

See Day 1 pictures below. Wish me luck!

 

Full Moon – An Ode to The Guy

I miss him. Especially on nights like tonight when there’s a chill in the air and the moon is big and full in the dark, foggy,  sky.  He had a fascination with the moon and over time I began to see the moon with great admiration as well. On nights like tonight we would chat about how the same robust, round moon could be viewed all over the world. We would create the most tender, delicate, sexual energy on these types of nights and end up in each others arms with the moon peeking ever so gently through the blinds.  He would lay on his back, while I lay on my side, my head resting on his chest, my leg draped over both of his. I dozed off so many times in those peaceful, still hours just before dawn, listening to the slow beat of his heart.

Just as the moon sits in the sky, “ The Guy” sis in my heart. Like the moon peeks through the blinds he peeks though my thoughts from time to time. The words I love you never slipped from my lips to his ears or from his lips to my ears but maybe like the moon it’s always been there existing and on nights like this I hope he’s thinking of me too.

An Ode to The Guy because all endings aren’t happy. 

Miscarriage -10.2016

I have never felt as empty as I did when I went to have a ultrasound and there was nothing up on the monitor. The ultra sound tech went pale and I knew that something was wrong. My boyfriend at the time did not know what was going on.

No heartbeat. Nothing but a empty sack and a room heavy and cold, dense with emotion.  I could not stop the tears from falling when the words  blighted ovum escaped from the lips of my OBGYN.

I tried to be strong. I didn’t want to cry. I didn’t want to be filled with emotions. Too many questions swirled around in my mind. I had positive pregnancy tests. I had the morning sickness, the cravings, and I actually looked very round in my belly area. I felt my body betray me.

My doctor said that my body should pass the sac and start the miscarriage process on its own but after a couple of weeks we had to schedule a D&C. My body did not want to let it go and neither did I. I went into surgery surrounded by my mom, grandma, and boyfriend. I fell asleep with one tear streaming down my face.

The vibrant, loving, free spirited, nurturing woman that I once was, gone.  I felt a piece of her die in the operating room. I felt like a stranger in the body that  I have lived in for over 30 years. I slid into depression and suffered in silence. Depression fells like you are walking around with sunglasses on. Your sunny days are not as sunny and your gloomy days feel like the end of the earth.

I am no longer that relationship and I’ll never know why I went through this experience. I have finally found peace in knowing that as sure as we live we all must surely die. I never had the opportunity to hold the baby in my arms but I will hold her in my heart forever and October will never be the same.

2017

Transparency Moment: 2017 has been the hardest year of my life. ( 2009 was a close second) 2017 came along with residual damage from 2016. Dealing, with 3 major losses and by February I knew I was heading down a deep dark path. What’s worse – People pretending to be your friend while looking at you sympathetically, offering empty words of encouragement they don’t even believe, then talking about you behind your back and in your face. ( family too) waiting to cheer your demise. Or pretending to have it all together on the outside while secretly dying a thousand tiny deaths everyday? Anti depressants couldn’t save me, the will to live didn’t entice me, prayers didn’t reach me, food and alcohol didn’t comfort me. I allowed men and one sided friendships take advantage of me. Life left me with more questions then answers. On 9.8.17 I went to seeking a word and left renewed. A sweet voice saying daughter you shall live and not die and in that moment I knew I would never be the same. Saturday came along with a message to Bling. Sundays message Godly interruptions was icing on the cake. This week has been hard but oh so worth it. I’m coming out on the other side. A warrior goddess, more confident than ever, the great Phoenix rising. My anger and disappointment fuel my will to live. My smile lights my path. My bitterness was for my betterment. 

6.27.2017 – The Crush

He makes me feel like a ignited sparkler.

Glowing bright and throwing sparks everywhere, but quickly fizzing out.

Although our interaction was brief it was much needed in my life.

We had great thought provoking conversations that grew me on a personal and spiritual level. I wrote out my personal mission statement. I was able to get some very good book recommendations, write a poem, and pick up blogging again. But most of all I was able to face my fear of rejection and tell him that I had a crush on him.

I am not sure what the future holds but I am living life and considering things in a different way.