Thanksgiving

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I went and packed dinners for the less fortunate. It’s hard to focus on my acne, recent breakup, or anything else going wrong in my life when I’m serving others. Serving others is a great way to show you are grateful for what you do have. I always remain humble because any and everything that you have can be loss at anytime. There are always people who are worse off so count your blessings.

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Day 40 Update – Picture

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Finally seeing some progress!

This picture was taken this morning after I washed my face. I am glad to report the horrible side effects (dry peeling skin, nausea, painful skin, super dry lips) have subsided.  I switched to the Mary Kay botanical line for normal skin, and that has helped with the dryness and peeling but it doesn’t sud up like soap so I don’t always feel like my skin is clean. I do use the mask/scrub about 2 times a week and if my skin is feeling super gross I will use the cleanser from the Alba  Naturals  Acnedote line.  Using the mask has helped with the flaky skin that I had on my nose.  The most notable change to my skin is that the texture of my skin has changed. It feels smoother and more radiant. When I wore makeup on Friday it went on much smoother and I was able to use less makeup foundation and concealer. I still have breakouts they just don’t last as long. I have made an effort to stop picking my skin. Such a horrible habit but I am trying to break it. I am hoping that the next few months go past just as smooth and that I finally get to the point that I am not having any breakouts.

It’s A Acne Thing you wouldn’t understand – Acne Rant

Aside from my blog I don’t care to discuss my acne. It’s just something that I have been dealing with and coping with for so long that it really is just a source of pain, agitation and frustration. I don’t know why people think that if you have acne you are not aware that you have it. People say things to you as if you are unaware of the current state of your face, like you don’t  wash it in the morning, like you don’t walk past at least a couple of mirrors a day. NEWSFLASH PEOPLE!!! Yes I know I have acne. Yes I have probably tried everything on the market (high end, low end, prescriptions, home remedies.) You name it I have tried it. Yes it hurts. Yes I am a horrible person for not wearing make up everyday and walking around with naked, broke out, sometimes peeling, sometimes bleeding, sometimes crusted over, sometimes red and irritated acne for the whole world to see. It’s the ugly mug God blessed me with and yes I let it all hang out. Since I have been on Accutane I have worn full make up twice both times for church.

Yesterday I was with family and friends for my dad’s birthday celebration dinner. I have really been skipping events and staying home as much as I can because I can not or should I say I don’t want everyone looking at my face  and asking questions, especially while I am not wearing makeup. Here is a conversation that I had with a family member.

Family member – “Your face looks horrible.” 

Me trying really hard not to punch said family member in the face -“I am on Accutane, a really powerful drug for acne.”

Family member looking like I just pulled up my skirt, crawled on top of the kitchen table and defecated on top of her food – “Oh so you must be in the it gets worse before it gets better phase.”

Me thinking of busy intersections for said family member to play in – “You could say that, but when you have been dealing with something over 20 years what is 6 more months?”

I walked off before she could answer. Just another day in the life of someone who has acne. It’s a acne thing, you wouldn’t understand.

Month 2 apt – Accutane

My appointment went well. We are cranking up my dosage from 30 mg to 40 mg . I had that huge pimple on my chin and that big cluster of pimples on my right cheek and my dermatologist injected them and they were flat this morning.  I have been without Accutane for 2 days. My 30th day fell on Sunday. My apt was on Monday and because of technical difficulties I couldn’t get my rx until today ( day 32). I used a marker to mark my rx to make sure I’m on the correct day. image