The Dating Rules have changed

The Dating Rules have changed

In my opinion the dating and courting rules have changed. I don’t know when they changed or how or why they did but there are dating rules and unspoken expectations that can leave any dater feeling clueless and confused. I have decided to do a he said she said series based on relationships and dating on my blog. I will do a monthly question and then have answers from both males and females. I have some really opinionated, tell it like it is, friends and I am grateful that they have agreed to lend my blog their thoughts and views on dating.

For the first question I have four males on the he said side. I have four females on the she said side and my commentary and thoughts will be sprinkled through out. I have given everyone monikers so they can feel free to speak open and liberally about whatever question is asked. Listed below are the monikers, age, and current dating description (single, married, involved, dating, etc.) of each contributor to this months question.

 ” THE TRUTH” – 32, never married, currently dating

” THE MANAGER” – 35, divorced, currently dating

” THE LIGHT” – 37, never married, currently involved

” THE PARTY” – 41, never married, currently single

 For the females we have

” THE FACILATOR” – 41, never married, currently single

” THE LOVER ” – 34, never married, currently involved

“THE SOUL” – 36, divorced, currently involved

” THE LIONESS” -29, never married, currently single

And myself

” THE MOCHALOVEGODDESS” 33, divorced, currently single

 

This months question is “When dating, who should pay?”

Look for the answers on 07/21/2014 in a blog entitled – The Dating Rules have changed”

In the meatime take the poll below.

 

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What do you do?

In general I am a outgoing person. What most people don’t know is I am extremely nervous around people I don’t know. I’m talking – OH my goodness I hope I don’t have a panic attack- please don’t let me trip or fall down- is there a booger in my nose- I can’t breathe- I hope I don’t say anything dumb- my hands are sweating- I hope my deodorant doesn’t stop working – nervous, nervous.
It never fails, some one is bound to ask. What do you do? My 9-5 is a customer service representative. A necessary job (all though with advancing technology and outsourcing it’s gradually becoming obsolete) but not a lifelong, I’m changing the world kind of career. You don’t have to be the brightest, most intelligent, or even the most friendly these days to be a customer service representative. It’s not what I aspired to do. I just fell into it and I’m very good at it. How long will I be in this line of work? Something I’m really good at but doesn’t challenge me or give me that warm , fuzzy feeling. I’m so tired of living below my potential. I am going to put some real thought into what I want to do and one day I will be proud of the answer to that unavoidable question What do you do?

Rough draft perfection

Easy on the eyes.
Spiritually grounded.
A natural born leader.
Has a sense of humor.
Gets my sense of humor.
Challenges me to think on a higher level.
Has a strong prayer life.
Diverse musical interest.
Has a strong sense of family and community.
Loves kids.
Reads books.
Engaging conversation.
Lives a healthy lifestyle.
Open minded.
Enjoys trying new things.
Makes sound financial decisions.

That’s my list of desirable traits that I look for in a potential mate, in no particular order. Aside from making sound financial decisions ( I’m working on it) I met everything on the list. I would never desire something in someone else that I don’t all ready posses. Vanity perhaps? Maybe I’m best suited for the male version of myself. Maybe that version is non existent.

I met someone who is every single thing on the list without even trying. So why am I blogging about the list instead of spending time with, building something with, or talking about how happy I am with the new set of circumstances? Simply because HE DOESN’T MAKE TIME FOR ME. Notice I said make time and not have time. We are all busy. Being a gainfully employed single mom of two, who cooks everyday, and loves to blog and tries to sneak in exercise and a list of other Super Mom Super woman duties, I get busy. It takes hardly any time at all to send a text, make a phone call, or schedule time to see someone during hours that are not normally reserved for sleeping. Having time and making time for what we consider important are totally different. Maybe what I consider priority isn’t priority to someone else. So what’s a girl to do? I’ll tell you. She goes right on living, loving and enjoying her life. 20140710-071329-26009971.jpg

Still Single. Maybe mingling season is over.

Tea Time

In a reflective moment at the end of a busy day, I sip my Chill the f@&$ out tea. I wonder if the universe is sending me a message. Do I need to chill the f@&$ out? I’m not really big on expletives but I never underestimate a strategically placed one. After all it is the name of the tea.
I’ve had one of those busy high activity days but I did dance for a hour to a mix I found on YouTube, and that really made me sweat and smile. My kids even joined me for a few songs. So here I am at the end of the day literally , thinking of all the things that made me smile today. I sung a funny song about a ocelot with writeMind , I saw The Guy briefly, I chatted with my mom who was at Walmart during lunch, I wore 5 inch strappy heels to work just because, I danced for a hour and did FaceTime with my little sister. My family and friends bring me so much joy, peace, love and happiness just by existing and I can only hope that I interject those same feelings to those I come in contact with. At the end of the day it’s just me, God, my feelings, and a few thoughts. We’re all connected.

The show me state of mind!

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I grew up hearing things from my mom like “she’s from the show me state and she don’t believe fat meat is greasy” when making reference to me. I don’t believe I was a hard headed child but even as a child I never put much stock or value into lip service. The Easter bunny, Santa Clause, tooth fairy – all lies. Also growing up with a dad who’s actions didn’t always match his words all contributed to my ” I’ll believe it when I see it” attitude.

For the most part that frame of thinking has served me well with the exception of religious beliefs and relationships. Allow me to explain. Yes I do believe in God and that there is a higher power out there but at times my faith is weak. Faith has a lot to do with hope in things that may not be tangible, which is a direct conflict to my ” I’ll believe it when I see it” attitude. I will: desire something
believe that it is mine
and still be shocked, and surprised when I get it or when it works out.
I have that same pattern of thinking even when I am doing the things that I love and are historically good at i.e writing a piece for my blog, cooking my favorite recipes from memory, or killing a workout that I’ve completed with no problems in the past.

In relationships I don’t believe that I am liked, loved, cherished or desired until it is shown. If you miss me, act like you do. If you love me, act like you do. If you are interested, act like you are. Such a simplistic concept to me however things get murky when good intentions lack the execution to see it to fruition. Good intentions + poor execution = frustration and irritability.
Who likes to be a after thought? Who likes to be the very last thing that is squeezed in after a busy day? Who intends to be the low man on the totem pole all the time? Those situations are likely to occur occasionally but if it is the rule rather than the exception it just doesn’t accommodate my lifestyle. I seek clarity in all things but a persons words are but a whisper when their actions state otherwise, when their actions are in a direct conflict with what they say. We’ve dealt with inconsistency since childhood which dances around our core thus creating broken pieces, wise words from my girlfriend SoulPowerBeautifulMind .
For some it may not be that deep, but for me I’m into picking up the pieces not creating more discontent. Sometimes we have all the pieces of the puzzle and they still don’t fit.
I’m in a show me state of mind.

I welcome comments and dialogue so don’t be shy. Give me whatcha got!

I am a Taurus and a Writer.

I am a Taurus and I am a writer.
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I am a Taurus and I am a writer. That means I live inside of my head sometimes. I have had several conversations with people in my head and have anticipated every possible response but I am quickly thrown off if things in reality don’t flow with the script in my head. I think, rethink, and think some more. Thinking is one of my favorite things to do. Sometimes I replay a conversation over and over again in my mind just to make sure that I didn’t miss anything. I have a tendency to error on the side of overthinking, the side of reading into things to much, and the side of that is not what I meant at all. Once I make a decision that decision might as well be written in stone because once my decision is made there is no changing it, and I don’t want to hear about what I could have or should have done, after the fact.

  I am a Taurus, and I am a writer. Which means that sometimes I tell the same story multiple times because sometimes I can’t remember if I have connected the story in my head with the reality that is out side of my head. I am a natural born story teller and some things are just too good, too funny, too heartbreaking, and too emotional not to tell over and over again.

 
  I am a Taurus, and I am a writer. Once I love a song, or a CD I will play it over and over and never get tired of it. I will find new meaning, new sounds, new thoughts, and new rhythms each time. I love to be around music, people, and things that inspire creativity in me.

 

I am a Taurus, and I am a writer.