Day 2 of the 90 Day Men Fast

Day 2 brings several calls and texts from men.

Hey Beautiful.

Good morning.

I’ve been trying to get in contact with you. Where have you been?

And even a proposition.

Ignoring calls and text is not half as hard as I thought it would be.

Today’s learned lesson is live life without apologies.

I am not sorry that I am changing and I don’t have to justify that with anyone.

I took the kids to get cupcakes today (and one for me too) on the way home from school and work.

Everyday is special and it doesn’t have to be a special occasion to indulge a little bit.
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Day 1 the 90 Day Men Fast

I had a really good date the night before I started my new adventure. Just one of those dates where everything flows effortlessly. He arrived on time. Was outside standing by the car to let me in. I just had to show up. I never had to touch any doors, reach for my wallet or worry about the details. I am such a homebody and it was just good to be away from my house. 

This should be easy right? After all I have church on Sunday which takes up a good part of the day. Some things were easy the no talking, the no dating, but texting and not letting my mind wonder well I didn’t do as well.

Can you make someones day?

When was the last time you made a conscious effort to make someones day? 

Oh how I love the power of the internet.

I was able to send my little sitter a edible arrangement to her college dorm 600 miles away from me.

I remember being in college and being so excited just to get mail.

I was able to encourage her and put a unexpected smile on her face.

There will always be people who say they support you.

I want to be the type of sister who shows  my support.

I just always want my sister to know that she has a support system, and we love and think about her often.

The card that I sent with the arrangement said

Although we are several miles apart, 

You are always close to our heart. 

Second thoughts

Once I set forth my mind to complete the 90 day men fast, I felt focused and determined. Not long after I started having second thoughts. Is this something that I really want or need to do? Or is this something that I am using as a crutch because I don’t want to face the fact that I gave more than my all, more then I ever thought I could give and things with “ The Guy” still didn’t work out?  My next thought bought with it a sobering reality. What if I enjoy being single so much that my desire to be in a relationship leaves and I miss out on creating something beautiful? What about the 2 dates that I went on? What if they think that I am not interested? What should I do with all of the free time? And finally how can I possibility go 90 days with no flirting, talking, texting, or dating men?  After I let my thoughts run wild, I came to the conclusion that because I have so many unanswered questions this is the perfect time to do the work. Then I walked confidently in the direction of the 90 day men fast. 

The cold shoulder

cold shoulder

NOUN

a refusal to behave in a friendly or pleasant way toward somebody

 

I am going on a 90 day man fast. Not just from you but from all men.

Short simple text I sent.

Yes I was angry, again.

Yes I was disappointed, again.

Yes he said that he was coming over the night before and didn’t show up, again.

According to him it wasn’t his fault. I didn’t really care who was at fault I just know that the same thing has happened on more that a few occasions.

No I don’t want to see you today.

I didn’t care that it would be at least 90 days without communication or contact.

At this point I was just tired.

I prayed this simple prayer.

Lord, I am tired. I feel defeated. I just want more of you and that’s all. I trust you in all areas of my life even in the place that I have allowed to grow cold because of disappointment. I know that I can not say that I love you but still harbor resentment and continue to carry around trust issues. I trust you to write my next love story. Help me to be in your will and not in your way. Amen.

When ” The Guy” showed up of course I opened the door but I was deep in thought, deep in my feelings and deep in cleaning the stove so our conversation was dry and short.

Later I had to text that I was sorry because treating someone with a cold shoulder is not something that I do. Regardless of how people treat me it should not cause me to treat them less than.

This journey is never easy and I tell people that I am human I make mistakes but when I do I try to make things right as soon as I can. I still don’t like the taste of humble pie.

 

90 day men fast.

In preparation of the 90 day men fast.

Preparation for the 90 day men fast.

I am on a self imposed 90 day Men fast. Click here to read my previous blog that outlines the details of the fast and the rules.

Am I crazy or what? I love men. I love masculinity. I love male energy. Men are beautiful. Why would I ever want to be away from that? I have taken relationship breaks; there have been times of extended intentional celibacy so why am I making such a big deal about this? Well it’s because this time my intention is totally different. I have to go within and do some self reflection. Change for me is never easy. I am set in my ways. I thrive on consistency. Bless my little Taurus soul.

This time differs because I have never given up flirting, texting, calling, and dating all at the same time. I can be honest with myself in stating that I spend adequate time daydreaming about the future. I just think that when you are a good person and know that you have a lot of great qualities the desire to want to share that and build on that intensifies.

So now that I have set up my rules for the 90 day men fast it’s time to settle down and get to work.

How awesome would it be to take these 90 days to read, meditate, pray even more, get in the best shape of my life, travel, or even pick up salsa dancing again? I am pretty awesome and great company so why not take myself out on a few dates?