cold shoulder
NOUN
a refusal to behave in a friendly or pleasant way toward somebody
I am going on a 90 day man fast. Not just from you but from all men.
Short simple text I sent.
Yes I was angry, again.
Yes I was disappointed, again.
Yes he said that he was coming over the night before and didn’t show up, again.
According to him it wasn’t his fault. I didn’t really care who was at fault I just know that the same thing has happened on more that a few occasions.
No I don’t want to see you today.
I didn’t care that it would be at least 90 days without communication or contact.
At this point I was just tired.
I prayed this simple prayer.
Lord, I am tired. I feel defeated. I just want more of you and that’s all. I trust you in all areas of my life even in the place that I have allowed to grow cold because of disappointment. I know that I can not say that I love you but still harbor resentment and continue to carry around trust issues. I trust you to write my next love story. Help me to be in your will and not in your way. Amen.
When ” The Guy” showed up of course I opened the door but I was deep in thought, deep in my feelings and deep in cleaning the stove so our conversation was dry and short.
Later I had to text that I was sorry because treating someone with a cold shoulder is not something that I do. Regardless of how people treat me it should not cause me to treat them less than.
This journey is never easy and I tell people that I am human I make mistakes but when I do I try to make things right as soon as I can. I still don’t like the taste of humble pie.
mochalovegoddess 