Day 23 of the 90 day Men Fast
I need to be sure that you are not going to retreat every time something doesn’t go your way.
I am far from perfect when it comes to dating and relationships. As I reflect on my past dealings with men, I realize that I have made decisions based out of fear. When we are making decisions based out of fear we are operating based on past experiences which may or may not relate to what is the current reality.
What I fear most is wasting time. I dated my ex-husband on and off for about 10 years before we decided to get married and it’s no secret that end in divorce. I just don’t have the kind of time and energy to invest in something (a relationship) or someone and it not lead to happily ever after. I would rather spend that time towards things that I feel have more value.
Maybe one day I will run into someone who makes it feel as if time is standing still and then it won’t matter if a day, a month or a year passes.
2 weeks in and I am feeling confident about the rest of the fast.
I had a little set back that I blogged about a couple of days ago and it made me think about what I am going to do when the fast comes to a end.
I mean I can’t just stay in seclusion until my husband magically falls out of the sky, can I? I kid. I kid.
I just know that when I have been successful with something it was because I was proactive and I had a plan. Most times when I was unsuccessful it was because I was in a reactive state, or I had no plan and just hoped for the best. With this fast I had rules but I don’t think that I necessarily set myself up on a path of success.
Onward and upward.
The Guy asked me why I haven’t blogged in a while and I said it’s because I haven’t been inspired to write. As I thought more about it, that’s not entirely true. I am writer. Every day and every night I have the urge to write. Things have been a bit unbalanced in my own little world so there have been words, thoughts, and poems written in my personal journal away from the blogosphere.
I am excited that my blog has been up and running for over a year. I am planning to revamp my blog to separate my acne related posts from everything else. My acne posts get the most reads and I realize that some people want to know my acne story and that’s it. I get that. When I was considering acne treatment I was the same way.
Stay with me blog readers. I am still here.
Love, peace and blessings.
Today, tomorrow and always.
Well here is my one year acne update. Wanna see a comparison photo?
Looking at these pictures almost makes me wanna cry. In my before picture my life was a mess, my relationship was a controlled chaos, my diet was out of control, I was drinking and just not making very good decisions. I was treating my acne on the outside, but not doing my part for complete total health, – mind, body and soul.
In the after picture WOW what a difference. I’ve been taking care of myself on the inside by watching what I eat, praying more, reading more, and taking better care of my mental health. Things that used to really bother me I just don’t let it effect me the same. The Guy has helped me see situations and especially men in a more favorable light. I’m in a good head space, enjoying life, and it shows.
Last year i proclaimed Acne is my life. This year I proclaim Happiness is all mine!
I have switched dermatologist which means I have a new treatment plan. My am routine includes washing, treating, and moisturizing. My pm routine includes the same plus a oral tablet and to continue on my birth control pills. Here is a picture of my products.
So after 130 days of Accutane, I quit. In 2014, anything that is not working for me, I am letting go, acne treatments included. I feel that 130 days is plenty of time to see if something is going to work and for me it just didn’t. I missed my last appointment and no one called to follow up or anything with me. I am going to try my old dermatologist to see what treatments he has to offer. It’s been about 2 weeks since my last pill. My moods are better. My skin dryness has decreased and I haven’t had any new breakouts. I have had no nose bleeds. Now I will say that my results may be a skewed because I have been on a self imposed restricted diet of no bread, meat, sugar, or dairy. My face has a glow but it still is pink in some spots from the Accutane. Feel free to look back at my Accutane journey and I will be putting up a bare faced picture this week.
Acne is my life.