She’s only 32.

It just doesn’t seem fair that she would be battling breast cancer. 

Wife, mom, student, sister, daughter, friend, and soon to be survivor. 

Initially they thought  we were dealing with stage 1 cancer with no chemo and no radiation. 

Things aren’t always what they appear to be.

Stage 3 cancer, 8 rounds of chemo and radiation are needed and it has spread into the lymph nodes . 

A partially mascetomy was completed and a port was put in. 

After only one week of radiation an unexplainable high fever would send her to the ER only to discover a infection in the breast and a blood clot around the port.

This week her hair started falling out in clumps. 

I visited her in the hospital yesterday and even in her weakened state she just wanted to make sure that I was ok. 

I kissed her forehead at the end of our visit. 

Inside of my car I rested my head on the steering wheel and I cried. 


Day 11 of the 90 day Men Fast


 My best friends’ appointment was today. I am grateful that my job let me have the morning off. We went to the appointment and now we know the facts. There are three more appointments in the next upcoming weeks and then near the end of the month a surgery date will be set up. I didn’t cry. I wanted to but I didn’t. Sometimes you just need a hug and for someone to look you in the eye and say you are bigger than this, you are not alone, together we will fight and that’s what I was there to provide. I have volunteered to help keep her appointments together and organized and I will be at each appointment as my job allows.

Sometimes we don’t know how strong we are until being strong is the only option that we have. There are times were we can not just depend on our own strength but have to tap into the strength of a higher power.

Day 10 of the 90 day Men Fast

Pacer Game

I went to the Indiana Pacer game and it was a great outing. Every time I go to the game we win. It was good to see some of my co- workers. I did see “The Guy” but since he was working I don’t necessarily count that as a break in the 90 day men fast.

My best friend did text me and let me know that she does indeed have breast cancer. While my heart breaks for her and her family I know that she will be able to fight this and beat it. Tomorrow we go to the doctor to see what the extent of the cancer is and come up with a game plan to fight it.

I am not scared this time. I can’t be. She is depending on me to be the rock and the calm in the mist of the storm. I am always the girl with the smile and the funny jokes. I have to keep everyone smiling to keep them from crying. Our friendship has lasted over 14 years now. Our friendship has survived college, men, jobs, two weddings, one divorce, kids, car issues, money issues, and it will last longer than cancer ever will. So as I write this with tears in my eyes tonight on my way to my solitude (meditating and prayer) I will hug my kids a little tighter, make even more of a effort to tell the people I love that I do, and do even more to make this world a little more friendly and a little brighter. Tomorrow I will put on my game face.