What is sauce?
Sauce is used to describe someone who has style, grace, confidence, a magnetic smile. Someone who is considered attractive and generally described to others as out of their league. People think that a woman with a lot of sauce can have their pick when it comes to dating and dating prospects.
Well I consider myself sauceless in the city because I keep coming up short in the men, slash dating, slash relationship, slash meeting people department. Over the years I have tried Tinder, letting friends hook me up, mixers ( remember the guy) , Facebook and even meeting people face to face but seemingly all roads lead to Singleville.
I’m sauceless in the city and this is my story.
[ disˈmisiv ]
feeling or showing that something is unworthy of consideration:
I have a tendency to be dismissive especially when it comes to matters of the heart. If I can not trust someone who is trying to date me to handle my heart, time, and energy with care; then I definitely can’t trust that same person to do right by me in terms of a friendship. My life is not a revolving door. I know what I want. I can’t afford to let people enter and exit at will. There were times in my early 20’s when I allowed men to have on again off again relationships with me. Being divorced and over 30 has definitely changed my perspective on things. I’ve learned that people will do what you allow them to do. If you allow them to put you on the back burner, they certainly will. If you allow them to make plans and reschedule them at the last minute, they most certainly will. If you let them waste your time, they will think that you have time in excess to waste. Life is too short to be unhappy. Find what you love and do more of that.
I don’t like long drawn out goodbyes. I never have. I am such a cut and dry person. I deal best in the black and white areas of it all. I become quickly agitated and uninterested when it comes to playing guessing games, existing in the grey area, or if things just don’t seem to add up. The unfortunate thing is when dealing with the opposite sex; they don’t often realize that I have gotten to this point until it’s too late. Once I have decided that I am going to proceed with something I give it my full 100%. The same thing applies if I am finished with something, I am 100% finished. It may have something to do with being a Taurus. I hear we are stubborn. So while it may take me a while to come up with a decision (the hesitation is because I like to weigh all options carefully) once a decision is made its final.
Have you ever feel in love with potentional? It’s so easy to do, but women must be careful to never be so focused on the future that it deflects from the current reality. Sure the guy you are dating may be working on his self, building a business, finishing a degree or a plethora of other things but in the mist of it all if he is serious about you and interested his actions will indicate such.
So who’s counting who? Women by nature are caring, nutring, loving and expressive, but while you are calling, texting, scheduling dates, and doing sweet little things to let him know you care ask yourself if reciprocity is being exercised. If you can answer no then you must take the necessary steps to either change your situation or leave it alone. Otherwise you are setting yourself up for continued disappointment.
Relax. What is meant to be will be and it won’t have to be forced. It will be a source of happiness and not a added stress. Oftentimes the answers we seek are plainly before us. Don’t let potential emotions cloud present day reality.
The cold hard truth,
Whose courting who?
During a conversation with my mom she said, “Always follow your heart. It will lead you to the one who brings you closer to your peace.” My moms’ infamous 2 liners always resonate with me, and give me something to ponder. When I think about my last two very serious relationships (the one with my ex husband, and the most recent relationship I got out of) they didn’t lead me closer to my peace. With my ex husband initially when we met I was his peace, his escape, his bridge between his current situation and his future. While I know what I was to him, I can’t say that he helped bring me closer to my peace. In fact towards the end of that relationship I was further away from peace and anything that looked like or resembled peace. I was close to being outside of my mind; I was depressed and needed God and anti- depressants to come up out of that pit. Peace was very far away. With the last relationship I was in there was never any peace. The glue that kept us together was sex, passion, lies, deceit, and drama, anything but peace.
Could it be that while on the quest for love, I should have been on the quest for peace? I have found that where there is peace there is love but where there is love there isn’t always peace. A road paved with peace and love will lead you on a journey to a place where happiness grows in abundance. Always fall for the one who brings you closer to your peace.
No longer single and ready to mingle, currently on a peace seeking mission.
In general I am a outgoing person. What most people don’t know is I am extremely nervous around people I don’t know. I’m talking – OH my goodness I hope I don’t have a panic attack- please don’t let me trip or fall down- is there a booger in my nose- I can’t breathe- I hope I don’t say anything dumb- my hands are sweating- I hope my deodorant doesn’t stop working – nervous, nervous.
It never fails, some one is bound to ask. What do you do? My 9-5 is a customer service representative. A necessary job (all though with advancing technology and outsourcing it’s gradually becoming obsolete) but not a lifelong, I’m changing the world kind of career. You don’t have to be the brightest, most intelligent, or even the most friendly these days to be a customer service representative. It’s not what I aspired to do. I just fell into it and I’m very good at it. How long will I be in this line of work? Something I’m really good at but doesn’t challenge me or give me that warm , fuzzy feeling. I’m so tired of living below my potential. I am going to put some real thought into what I want to do and one day I will be proud of the answer to that unavoidable question What do you do?
Easy on the eyes.
A natural born leader.
Has a sense of humor.
Gets my sense of humor.
Challenges me to think on a higher level.
Has a strong prayer life.
Diverse musical interest.
Has a strong sense of family and community.
Lives a healthy lifestyle.
Enjoys trying new things.
Makes sound financial decisions.
That’s my list of desirable traits that I look for in a potential mate, in no particular order. Aside from making sound financial decisions ( I’m working on it) I met everything on the list. I would never desire something in someone else that I don’t all ready posses. Vanity perhaps? Maybe I’m best suited for the male version of myself. Maybe that version is non existent.
I met someone who is every single thing on the list without even trying. So why am I blogging about the list instead of spending time with, building something with, or talking about how happy I am with the new set of circumstances? Simply because HE DOESN’T MAKE TIME FOR ME. Notice I said make time and not have time. We are all busy. Being a gainfully employed single mom of two, who cooks everyday, and loves to blog and tries to sneak in exercise and a list of other Super Mom Super woman duties, I get busy. It takes hardly any time at all to send a text, make a phone call, or schedule time to see someone during hours that are not normally reserved for sleeping. Having time and making time for what we consider important are totally different. Maybe what I consider priority isn’t priority to someone else. So what’s a girl to do? I’ll tell you. She goes right on living, loving and enjoying her life.
Still Single. Maybe mingling season is over.